• 4 c rice noodles
• 1 c peanut butter
• 3/4 c lite coconut milk
• Juice of 1/4 lime
• 1 c cabbage, sliced thin
• 2 tbsp carrot sticks, sliced thin
• 3 cloves garlic, sliced thin
• 1 green onion, sliced thin
• 2 tbsp gyoza sauce
• 4 tsp soy sauce
• 4 tsp olive oil
• 1 tsp sesame oil
• 2 tsp dried basil
• 1 tsp turmeric
• 1 tsp cayenne pepper

Ok, this is in stages. But completely worthwhile stages. In fact, to simplify this otherwise daunting-sounding rip off of an otherwise respectable Thai dish:

1. Put sliced garlic and onions in 2 tsp olive / 1/2 tsp sesame oil warming to ML. Let cook until garlic begins edge-goldening. Prep anything else while this goes on.

2. In separate pan, put remaining oil in on M. Lay cabbage and carrots in oil and toss delicately with 1 tsp soy sauce. Cover the pan and turn off the burner. Let sit until mealtime.

3. Spoon peanut butter into garlic pan and let melt. Turn up to M and throw in remaining seasonings along with gyoza sauce, coconut milk, lime juice and remaining soy sauce. Stir until the first boilin’ bubble appears, then turn burner to L.

4. Boil noodles according to package directions. Drain and, while hot, mix into the peanut sauce. Serve topped with cabbage and carrots. Garnish with a

5. Spoons! 

• 1 package Trader Joes® lemon-pepper papardelle
• 2 c fresh spinach
• 1/3 c olive oil
• 2-3 cloves garlic, sliced thin
• 1 tbsp fresh oregano, minced
• 1 tsp paprika
• 1/2 tsp turmeric
• Parmesan to top

Yum. And an easy “yum” at that. So easy that though I didn’t have time yesterday to write down the ingredients today they are still simple to keep emblazoned in the senses. If you haven’t cooked papardelle before, try it out and learn how it got its name from the Italian verb “pappare” (to gobble up).

Fry your garlic on ML until just the edges begin to turn golden, then remove the pan from heat and sprinkle on the seasonings. Let that sit while boiling papardelle to the perfect al dente and chopping spinach. When the pasta gets drained, turn off the burner. Mix spinach into the oil/garlic/ and move that pan back to the burner you just turned off (don’t turn it back on). Cover the pan for 1m, then uncover and stir until the spinach is wilted to your taste. Mix in the papardelle and ensure everything is properly coated. Sprinkle with Parmasean. Between the papardelle, spinach (and Parmesan), this vegetarian dish will have more protein – and visual interest – than eating a chicken breast. Of course that doesn’t mean you couldn’t add meat if you want, or skip the cheese for an easy vegan dish. 5 well-deserving spoons!

• 1 12 oz can chicken breast meat
• 1.5 c bowtie pasta, cooked
• 2 c cabbage, cut small
• 1/2 c carrots, cut small
• 2 c chicken broth
• 3-4 cloves garlic
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 1 tbsp butter
• 1/2 c Parmesan
• 1/2 tsp turmeric
• dash asafoetida

This is as easy on the wallet as it is on your palette. Drain the can of chicken and rinse thoroughly; set aside. Cook pasta; set aside. Saute garlic in butter and oil over ML for as long as you can stand to — I went about 20m, which wasn’t tough on time since the pasta requires time to cook and the chicken needs rinsing. Turn heat up to M and stir-fry carrots and cabbage for a minute then reduce heat back to the M side of ML and add seasonings, chicken and broth. Let everything simmer while you stir in Parmesan to thicken the broth. Right before serving, mix pasta with sauce/cabbage. Set aside logic and sprinkle a little Parmasean on top for 5 spoons of simplicious!

• 12 oz butternut squash, peeled and cubed
• 1 15.5 oz can black beans
• 1 tbsp grapeseed oil
• 1/2 medium onion, diced
• 2 large cloves garlic, sliced
• 1/2 c sweet white wine
• 1/2 tsp mustard seeds
• 1 tsp cumin
• 1 tsp coriander
• 1/2 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1/4 tsp turmeric
• 1/4 tsp cayenne
• dash asafoetida
• 1-2 c cooked Basmati rice

Sorry if you feel tricked after the title by now reading something about black beans and butternut squash… technically, I do not feel ethically bound to do more than reassure you that both things mentioned in the title of this post are in this meal. Stick with me though, sad faces — I will not disappoint!

Grapeseed oil has a very nice, light nutty flavor that comes across a lot more chaste than extra virgin olive oil. Turn the stove onto ML and let the onions/garlic cook for about 10m, then reduce heat to L, add the mustard seeds and walk away for an hour. Ready and set out the rest of your ingredients, wash some dishes, tidy the downstairs bathroom… you know, normal weekend stuff.

When everything has paled in the pan, increase heat to M. Add all spices (except cocoa powder) when mustard seeds begin to crackle and mush everything together. Add a splash of water to create a friendly mash then add in the squash. Mix-toss that junk over M heat for a few minutes, scraping the pan and adding nominal splashes of water when needed. When you might need to add a second or third splash of water, go ahead and substitute that undrained can of beans and 1/2 c white wine (Sauvignon Blanc used). Mix in the cocoa, bring everything to a light boil then reduce heat to L, cover and leave for 30-60m (depending on how tender you like your squash). When you come back to see a more liquidy sauce than you’d expected, fear not! Smash some of the squash cubes and mix to thicken the sauce. Serve over Basmati rice for 4 spoons of spicy, sweet savoriness.

• 2 large whole wheat tortillas
• 6 oz refried beans
• 1/3 c kale, minced
• 3 oz monterey jack, shredded
• 2 oz extra sharp cheddar, shredded
• 2.5 tsp olive oil
• 3 cloves garlic
• 1/2 tsp cumin
• 1/2 tsp cayenne
• dash asafoetida
• salsa/sour cream to taste

So I’ve been hanging out for the last week with my good friend Rhinovirus, who brought along his girlfriend Anosmia. By the time I could yank my snotty face up out of bed, there was nothing left to smell. I probably don’t need to reiterate what a bad idea cooking without smelling is; probably more for whomever is cooked for, but fortunately I was pliable enough in illness to allow more prepackaged food into my kitchen than I might want to for the next six months.

Tonight I’m stepping gingerly back onto the stovefront with something so simple not even an anosmic monkey could fail.

Start by slicing your garlic very thinly and letting it simmer in 2 tsp on ML for 15m or so while you mince that kale. After mincing, sprinkle with  and cayenne then rub 1/2 tsp olive oil into your palms and grab the whole bunch. Massage then transfer to a ziplock bag for more massaging. Set aside for at least 15m, but for an hour or more if’n you got it.

Shred and mix cheeses. Mix refried beans into olive oil/garlic mix and let everything congeal together on L for at least 20m, but for an hour or more if’m you got it. When kale-sadilla time happens at last, lightly oil a pan heated to the M side of ML. While the heating is going on, spread some beans on a tortilla and sprinkle on a bit of kale for good measure since it will stick with a purpose to the beans and not get all over the counter or stove. Put the open tortilla in the pan, sprinkle in cheese and fold it closed. Flip it every 15-30 seconds until cheese begins to show, melted, around its edges. Serve with sour cream and salsa if’n you desire. This turns out to be a great way to sneak kale into a meal without knowing you’re chomping the superfood!  4 spoons, says my wife, who has all of her nasal faculties intact.

• 2 c chopped red cabbage
• 1/2 c chopped kale
• 1/2 c corn kernels
• 1/2 small sweet onion
• 2 cloves garlic
• 1 14 oz can cream of mushroom soup
• 6 oz cream cheese, in chunks
• 1/2 c panko bread crumbs
• 1/3 c fried onions
• 1 tsp ghee
• 1 tsp coconut oil
• 1/2 tsp paprika
• 1/2 tsp turmeric
• 1 tsp dried basil
• dash asafoetida

Ok, so you’re going to need to do a couple of things first: blanch the kale for 5-9m (taste test it for chewability-without-suspicion) then add cabbage to the boiling water. Taste test for texture; I went about 3m. Drain everything well then line the bottom of a 8×6″ glass baking dish with the strainer contents and corn.

Now that everything is done boiling, you can use the same pot to start garlic and onions in the oil/ghee. After cooking on ML for 5-10m, add the chunks of cream cheese and smoosh them all around until melted. Sprinkle on seasonings and mix in with the can of cream of mushroom soup. Pour mixture over vegetables, spreading until even. Once you’ve adorned it further with panko and french fried onions let it bake at 350° for 40m. This would have been great served over rice or alongside other dishes at a dinner table, but we ate it almost directly out of the pan. 4 spoons for not entirely knowing its consistency (5 in my heart).

• Trader Joes® spinach tortellini
• 2 roma tomatoes
• 4 oz mozzarella cheese, sliced
• 2 tbsp Parmesan cheese
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/4 M sweet onion, minced
• 1 tsp coconut oil
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• dash asafoetida
• dash sea salt
• drizzle of balsamic vinegar

Heat the oils to ML and address it with your minced finery. Turn them back to L and let sit for an hour or two; this seems like a huge investment for an otherwise simple meal, but trust me on the flavor quotient. If you don’t have that much time to invest, don’t worry your heart — this will still turn out beyond edible.

Closer to mealtime, boil/drain your tortellini and prep tomato and cheese slices until the slice:cheese ratio works for you. While the love for cheese can connect almost all of is it also comes with a wide gradient of loves; slice for yourself and don’t look back.

Add your oil, garlic, onions and Parmesan to a pot where you’ve replaced the tortellini drained. Toss gently and let sit for 5m before serving topped with slices of tomato/mozzerella. Drizzle the tiniest bit of balsamic vinegar over the whole shebang, close your eyes and dream of Italy. 5 spoons!

• 1 15.5oz can red kidney beans
• 1 15 oz can crushed tomatoes
• 1 c sweet yellow onion, finely minced
• 3 cloves garlic, finely minced 
• 1/2-1 c water
• 1 tbsp ghee
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1 tbsp coriander
• 1 tbsp cumin
• 1 tsp garam masala
• 1 tsp turmeric
• 1 tsp fenugreek
• 1 tsp hot red chili powder
• dash asafoetida

This rajma restored my faith in what a single can of kidney beans can deliver apart from being in the ensemble of a pot of chili. While your onions and garlic cook to a diaphanous state on L for the next hour, you can easily assemble the other ingredients, do the dishes, take a shower, set up the coffee pots for tomorrow and start a load of laundry. Promise.

When the time becomes right, turn up the heat to M and mix all the seasonings in with your onions until a nice loose paste forms. Stir in the tomatoes slowly then gently mix in the beans. When a boil is a nigh on M, reduce heat to L and cover. This can be eaten right away but is better left to ruminate on its own flavors for a little while. After a 6 hour wait, this was 5 spoons of delight.

• 3 c cabbage, chunked
• 4 new potatoes, halved
• 6 slices of bacon, diced
• 1/2 tsp olive oil
• 1 c sweet yellow onion, diced
• 3 cloves garlic
• 1 tsp turmeric
• 1/2 tsp sea salt
• dash asafoetida

Sorry vegetarians, but thank you bacon! The longest part of the prep process here comes from letting your bacon chunks cook slowly enough to oil the onions in their stead. Dash them with turmeric and asafoetida for good anti -inflammatory and -flatulent measure. 

Mix your potato halves with olive oil and half the salt so they’re coated enough before relying on the bacon — I had lean slices in my skillet, and that’s not entirely fair to anything that might stick horribly to the pan.

Put the potato and cabbage in a deep baking pan and spoon the bacon, onions and garlic mix over everything evenly. Bake uncovered in a 375° oven for 45m, then remove from the oven to let cool on counter for 5m. We ate this gladly as a 5 spoon meal, but it would only shine too as a side dish. 

• 3 c baby spinach
• 4 new potatoes
• 1/2 c lentils, cooked
• 1/2 c feta cheese
• 1 small tomato
• 2 tbsp sweet onion, minced
• 2 tsp olive oil
• 1/4 tsp turmeric
• 1/2 tsp garlic powder
• dash salt
• house vinaigrette du jour*

There was fresh spinach. There were potatoes. There were lentils in the refrigerator. With spring in what little prime it gets in South Carolina I didn’t want a hot meal, but it is because summer still isn’t here that I’m not sold on salads yet this year as a meal. What might draw that bridge o’er troubled waters? If you said “potatoes,” then you’re damn right I’m 1/2 Irish.

Wash, halve then toss your potatoes in olive oil, garlic, turmeric and salt. Put cut-side down on a pan and bake in a 400° oven for 40m. Let them cool for 5-10m out of the oven while you prepare a bed of spinach, onion and tomato. Top that with the halved, roasted potatoes… then top that with (cooked, drained, cooled) lentils and feta cheese.

I used some of our house vinaigrette du jour* on it — that’s just 1/4 what was left of our Good Seasons® red wine/olive oil dressing, more olive oil/red wine vinegar, some garlic powder, turmeric and asafoetida (lentils would be afoot). As far as salads go, this one gets 5 spoons both on the flavor and fullness front.