Chappli Kale-bab

In my pantry today:

  • 1 bunch kale
  • 1 c soaked matpe beans
  • 1 package Shan® Spice Mix for Chappli Kabab
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 yellow onion
  • 1 medium slicing tomato
  • 5 slices of crystallized ginger
  • 2 tsp asafoetida
  • 2 tsp sesame oil
  • 1 tbsp Lemonaise®
  • 1 tsp apple cider vinegar
  • 2 tsp sea salt
  • 1 tsp black pepper
  • 1/2 c vegetable ghee
  • 1/2 c safflower oil

Boil your soaked beans for thirty to forty-five minutes. While that’s going on, chop onion into large chunks and throw into food processor; blend until paste-like. Then unload the dishwasher or something. Be patient, the beans will thank your digestive system later. Once soft enough to chew without making a face, drain the matpe and add it to the food processor.

Not burned, just made of black beans and shadows.

Add the spice mix, sesame oil and asafoetida and let it process itself for a minute or two. It should be a nice paste-like consistency. Put it in the fridge while you do this next here thing:

Wash your kale and begin stripping the veins. Tear or cut leaves into bite-size pieces and put in a large bowl. Mix Lemonaise™ with oil and vinegar then massage dressing into kale. Let sit for 15 minutes while you get back to this:

Take food processor bowl out of fridge and begin making nuggets. Your oil should be warming in a deep sauce pan on M-MH, for when it reaches sizzle-upon-tossed-droplet-of-water status, it is time to fry your balls. Flatten each ball slightly as you put it in the pan; after about 60 seconds, flip one to see its color. Once a satisfactory dark amber brown is reached on both sides, remove them from the pan onto a paper towel for a couple minutes of draining.

Arrange kale and sliced tomato on two plates, sprinkling each dish with 1/2 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp pepper. Top with your fried, protein-and-fiber-rich goodness. It will be spicy, and in fact was spicier than I anticipated. But in a good way. And I am proud that, egg notwithstanding for some, this is an entirely vegetarian meal. I am dutifully trying to add more kale into the culinary repertoire; right now I am trying to follow The Wahls Diet as closely as finances allow, and kale is an easy sell both for its price and nutritional value.

Now I am going to go collect that poster-child paycheck from the Kale Commission. ‘Night!

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3 responses to “Chappli Kale-bab

  1. I am thinking of becoming more veganish-inspired by your witty charm,simplicity and pictures.Your blog is fun to read even if one is not looking for a recipe.I,for one,look forward to it with anticipation.I would say ‘keep up the good work’ but there is no need to for that is the only way u know how to work.love love love it!!Maybe not the occassional (possibly appropriate) profanity,but since this is being written by a totally anonymous person,who am I to say? looks and sounds yummy…but-come clean…did u make up the asefotida? i have never seen an asefotida field or even a can of it at the store.Do u mine for it?,grow poppies? get it on ebay??on a streetcorner in a whispered voice from only one side of your mouth? please educate the less enlightened. keep up the good work-oops I said I wouldn’t say that!! gonna go get something to eat now.Best wishes, anonymous admirer.

    • Just go to any local Indian market — that’s where we got our “Fart Powder.” Of course, considering possible language barriers you might not want to use a slang term like “Fart Powder.” 🙂 Thank you so much for enjoying my blog, aMOMymous! I love you!

  2. oh….ASAFOETIDA….not asefotida…welll,never mind!!

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