Tag Archives: sweetened condensed milk

Coconut-Walnut Quick Bread (Gluten Free)

In my pantry today:

  • 1/2 c rice flour
  • 1/2 c oatmeal
  • 1/2 c golden flax
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp kosher salt
  • 2 eggs (or egg replacement)
  • 3/4 c evaporated milk
  • 1/4 c sweetened condensed milk
  • 1/4 c coconut oil
  • 1/4 c brown sugar
  • 1/2 c flaked coconut
  • 1/2 c chopped walnuts

coconutwalnutquickbreadOn an evening so algid I better love the oven, but my wife has the car today and we’re out of butter and milk, and have no bananas, sweet potatoes or canned pumpkin. Working off of this recipe as a basic quick bread template, I substituted what was on hand for what the cupboards lacked… all to a delicious, gluten free and health(ier) loaf of easy-to-grab-in-a-frozen-morning-hurry bread.

For the quickest way to get your bread on, start out by blending sugar/oil in the food processor. Add eggs, milk; blend. Add flour, oatmeal and flax; blend (this will help chop up that nasty texture-betraying oatmeal). Put in 1/4 c  shredded coconut and 1.4 c walnuts; pulse the machine so as not to chop those nuts unnecessarily. Pour into greased loaf pan, sprinkle remaining coconut/walnuts on top and bake at 350° for 30m (or until a butter knife inserted comes out clean).

The deployment of flax and use of coconut oil instead of butter assuages my potential guilt, whether it be carby or sweet. Sugar was still involved in the making of this loaf, but at a reduction from previous quick bread recipes. It earns 4 spoons, with a one-spoon reduction only for its sorrowful lack of dark chocolate chips. We were out of those.

“Best So Far” Pops

In my pantry today:

  • 1 banana
  • 2 c strawberries
  • 1/2 c blueberries
  • 1/2 c sweetened condensed milk
  • 1/2 c unsweetened almond milk
  • 1/4 c ground flax
  • 1/2 tsp turmeric
  • 1/4 tsp  cinnamon

As has been previously discussed, my regard for fruit is mostly a resigned complacency toward the importance of nutrition. Getting all my “colors” in a daily diet is difficult (as is unanticipated alliteration), and making popsicles has put a new spin (food processor shout out!) on the issue. Throw all of the above into a food processor/blender and chew your nails while they freeze, for indeed they will bring a mighty wind of happy flavor. 5 spoons!

toFurst Time, Be Gentle

In my pantry today:

  • 1 package/block of extra firm tofu
  • 2/3 package whole wheat lasagna noodles
  • 2 half-jars of spaghetti sauce from the fridge
  • 1/4 yellow onion, finely diced
  • 1/2 c crumbled feta cheese
  • 1/2 c Parmasean cheese
  • 1/2 c mixed shredded cheese
  • 1 tsp jar pesto mix
  • 2 tsp garlic
  • 1 tsp black pepper
  • 2 tsp cayenne pepper

First, pray. You have never before cooked with tofu and things might get crazy.

Carefully extract your block o’fu and place between two clean/paper towels for squeezing out the extra water. My plan going into this whole shebang was to simply make fried tofu. That is what the internet primarily suggests for extra firm. Maybe this block didn’t read its own label. This alleged “Extra Firm” crumbled into little bits and I was so not in the mood to make a simple scramble. This was my first time and I wanted it to be special.

And what’s more special than an Italian girl making lasagna, too, for the first time? Yes, I am ashamed to admit that. It’s very “40 Year Old Virgin” of me to have never, not once in my life made lasagna. That’s bad and I should feel bad.

So crumble that tofu with a fork and reserve a cup (for recipe below) before seasoning. Take your two ass-jars of sauce from the fridge and combine them, adding cayenne and black pepper. Then go to town on your tofu: add in the rest of your seasonings and feta/Prmasean. Fork it all, gently, to hell. Pour a little sauce into the bottom of a 6×6″ pan. Put in a layer of uncooked noodles and top it with a hearty portion of your tofu mixture. Do another sauce/tofu/noodles series and top with more sauce, a few extra crumbles of tofu and some shredded cheese. Cover and put in a 375° oven for an hour. Let it sit for a few minutes upon taking it out, then take that first bite and have a moment to remember that will stay with you the rest of your life. Go ahead, you deserve it. In fact, if you could shake your own hand while still holding that fork, you would.

Also in my pantry:

  • 1 c crumbled extra firm tofu
  • 1 can sweetened condensed milk
  • 6 squares Ghirardelli 100% cacao baking chocolate
  • 1 c white chocolate chips

Put the tofu and sweetened condensed milk together in the food processor and allow them to make sweet, smooth love until silky. Pour into small pot, add broken chocolate pieces and stir over MH. When all is brown, pour into greased 1″ glass pan, sprinkle chips and press into the stuff then let set in fridge for a few hours. Then regret not putting it either into a pie shell or little serving cups as you take an otherwise-delightful spoon. This ended up tasting like dark-chocolate brownie batter and should have gotten put out to set in a proper pasture.

Ultimately, that lasagna was good enough to make it not goddamn matter about this dessert attempt anyway.