Tag Archives: turkey

Be Gentle, it’s my First Time

In my pantry today:

  • 1 5-6lb turkey, giblets removed
  • 4 m-l cloves garlic
  • 1 small sweet yellow onion
  • 1/3 c olive oil
  • 2 c stock/broth
  • 1/3 c sea salt
  • 1 tbsp turmeric
  • 2 tbsp paprika
  • 1 tsp dried basil
  • 1 tsp dried oregano
  • 1 tsp celery seed
  • 1/2 tsp cumin
  • 1/2 tsp black pepper

turkeyThe whole “polar vortex” thing, though significantly less pronounced in the southeast, is frigid enough to close schools and dissuade many civil workers from appearing at their jobs. It is, therefore, the perfect night to roast an entire animal!

Well, and there was a turkey in the freezer.

Meat is admittedly not one of my favorite food items anymore (try telling pre-30 me that), but I can’t claim innocence on roasting birds. Chickens until now, but tonight is my first whole turkey and I’m already making leftover plans.

I’m going to proceed from here as though you have never before dressed fowl.

Get your bird naked as a jay and remove everything from it’s cavity. Rinse it under cold water inside and out and put it breasts-down in on a rack inside a baking pan.

Chop your garlic coarsely, turn your onion into small chunks. Set aside. Gather and put into a bowl all remaining spices, then pour in the oil and stir everything into a paste. You should have ample cavity access from this angle, so start massaging the spice-paste in there before filling it with all the onion and a bit of garlic. When adequately coated/stuffed (don’t cook your birds with actual stuffing inside them, I feel needs to be said), ever so carefully flip the bird.

Using a knife, stab through the skin and work your fingers up under there. Rolf that carcass with flavor. Shove garlic in every created underskin entrance. Once all the mix is gone from your bowl, pour broth below the rack in your pan and put in an oven preheated to 450°. In twenty minutes, reduce the temperature to 325° and continue waiting, basting every [20m for the first 80m / every 10m after that] until the timer that came in your bird pops up or meat thermometer reads 165°. Even though my kitchen currently lacks the twine commonly used to truss the bird, I still came out juicy and delicious at 5 spoons free-birding it — there will be recipes galore once the novelty of eating off the bone wears. Well, “galore” might be a little strong since it’s just a 6lb bird, but still… nom.

Cooking for Dogs

In my pantry today:

  • 1 lb ground turkey
  • 1 c eggshells
  • 1/4 c buckwheat, uncooked
  • 1 c barley, uncooked
  • 4 c rice, cooked
  • 1/3 c ground flax
  • 2 tsp turmeric
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tbsp garlic paste (optional)

Dog food is expensive, and lordy knows the canned stuff dogs love is filled with loads of unhealthy nonsense. That little voice in my inner ears (it lives beside the tinnitus) can’t let me keep stuffing them full of it. We’re not ready to make the “kids” go cold turkey on all store-bought food, so the dry food will stay (I use quotation marks because there is a succinct difference between animals and human children — in case you were unclear or suspected that I might be). In place of the wet food (I also hate opening cans because it is difficult), we did a little preliminary research and married what of it we could with our pantry. We had to buy the ground meat, but everything else was right here.

Combine dry buckwheat and barley — cook together in 2c water with turmeric, cinnamon and garlic paste. Completely cook ground turkey, and add egg shells when it’s browned. Mix. Add rice and pot of seasoned barley/buckwheat to large pot where your meat lives. Stir together and refrigerate contents for the upcoming week. We’ve got two dogs at 25/80lbs, respectively… the goal is to make enough food that weekly wet food costs will negate themselves. Until and beyond then, however, dog food will not get a spoon rating (sorry, Emeril!).

Cowboy is a boy. And a French Maid.

This recipe will yield about 10c of dog nom… now we just need to pray that they’ll eat it. This shouldn’t be a terribly risky proposition, but my pretty, pretty princess decided suddenly to hate eggs when we began hard boiling those instead of opening cans… he has eaten with no problem all of (but not limited to) these things:

  • cat poop
  • an entire bag of Ghirardelli dark chocolate squares
  • watermelon
  • carrots
  • an entire jar of Vaseline

Nobody would’ve considered Cowboy the alpha of the house but Sadie followed suit within a day, urging us (upon seeing the what a soft boiled egg turns into the next morning when allowed to fester overnight) to make the necessary changes for both their palette and our pantry. Fingers’ crossed for tonight’s meal.


Yeah, they both loved it like a fat kid loves cake.